tWenTy QuEstIoNs

So, yeah! We all do it. We all take those cheesy quizzes on Facebook that have specifically formulated the perfect set of random questions to determine what type of house we would be, what TV boyfriend we would have or…you get the point. I do them all the time, not necessarily posting my results. However, today I fell in love with the results of one because of its accuracy and honesty.  The quiz was: Can We Guess Who You Are in Only 20 Questions? Well…could they? The results were as follows:

Here is our best guess at who you are:

1. You are male.

2. You are still a teenager, but won't be one for very much longer.

3. You're in college and are already worried about finding the perfect job that will be both fulfilling and will pay well. Your future worries you more than you'd like to admit.

4. You have beautiful, silky brown hair and big eyes.

5. You know that if you'd only believe in yourself more, things would be much easier for you. Yet you still doubt your instincts more than you should, instead of trusting them every time.

Let’s start with the male teenager thing. Ha! Ha! Ha! Being a 35 (36 next month) year-old, mother of three rules out me being a teenage boy, but the ironic thing is that for years I declared myself to have the mindset of a teenage boy. For as long as I can remember, I have had closer relationships with “guy” friends than with “girl” friends. When I was a high school teacher and college professor, I always related to my male students easier. Their (I mean our) sense of humor is many times inappropriate, sarcastic and possibly raunchy but so remarkably funny. There was a time not too long ago that I struggled with my sense of humor and inappropriateness. Then I had a thought, God made me! God forms us and creates us into who we need to be in order to fulfill a purpose. Instead of feeling self-conscience of my relationships with these guys, I realize God allowed me to think like they do in order to relate to them, to form friendships and build trust, and to provide me an opportunity to be a spiritual mentor in their lives. So, that’s what I do…and I LOVE IT!

The fact the quiz says I am a teenager, but won’t be for much longer makes me giggle. I taught college for five years and moved to the high school level for the next five. During this time in my mind, I was certain I was still a teenager. My body, on the other hand, didn’t and doesn’t resemble teenage Lana. Teaching in the same high school I attended and being married to the same boy I dated in high school all kept my mind saying that I was indeed still 18. My students became good friends. I was the older sister they came to for advice, and I loved they felt they could. Within the last couple of years, I have found myself okay with moving somewhat out of that role. I even jumped at the opportunity to move from the high school to the elementary school. So, maybe I am a teenager moving into adulthood. And the best thing about that…I’m perfectly okay with it!

Let’s move on to worry. I have ALWAYS been a future-oriented person. In college, I constantly had my course catalog mapping out all of my classes. I did that through grad and post-grad school. Several years out of undergrad, I still consider what my future should hold. More school? Different job? Hobbies? Houses? Vehicles? In essence my questioning the future leads to the last statement revealed from the quiz. I really don’t believe in myself. I know that I am capable and many times I have the desire, but I allow self-doubt to overtake me. Many people believe that I ooze confidence and assurance. Boy, do I have them fooled! Recently, I decided that I really want to be a writer. Then I immediately think that I don’t have anything to say or no one will care. Plus, I suck at grammar particularly the comma, tenses, and the passive voice. So, I am certain that I could not be a good writer. So, again, I let doubt overtake me, and I do NOTHING! Thanks once more to God’s voice, I recognize that MY self-doubt is me doubting the ability of the master Creator. While doing a book study with my youth group, a chapter titled, “Religion Points to a Dim Future/Jesus Points to a Bright Future” rocked my world. The book is a fabulous read, but this particular chapter Bethke did a magnificent job helping me understand my role in life is to be a creator because I am made in the image of God, the original creator.  So, I’ve been writing. No matter what creative endeavor I engage, write a blog or paint a sign or take a picture, if I do it giving glory to God, then that is worship (even if the creation is secular in nature…blasphemy, you may think. I love it. Bethke let’s Christians see how much creativity they are missing out by limiting their palate to the Christian-only variety).

I started this blog that I am sure is of no consequence to anyone, but it was my step in following a calling. I have been working on a novel idea. I may only write a few sentences at a time, but I find my thoughts continue to generate a somewhat interesting plot. We will see! For now, I am happy that I have a few people in my life that have encouraged me in these areas. As for you, reader (if anyone actually read this far), you can pray for me. Pray for my teenage doubt to subside and for my will to unfold into His.

P.S. They were right about the color of my hair and eyes. My long, flowing silky locks were my pride and joy in high school. With each child I birthed, however, the texture of my hair did weird things. But for the most part, I still have pretty, healthy brown hair. My eyes, though not overly big, are hazel brown.