Forty will be Fabulous!!

As my summer break ends and August begins, I have reflected on the past couple of months. This reflection uncovered a whirlwind of exhaustion. I honestly believe I was more rested on the last day of the school year than I am after being off for two months, and this exhaustion is not the result of any personal accomplishments, mind you. I am so upset that I completed NOTHING this summer, but I am more upset to recognize that I have not been living my best life. For several years I have been coasting along, struggling with depression, avoiding surrendering my vices and postponing committing to my callings. During the past couple of weeks, I became overly aware of how important it is that I do surrender and commit. However, I am still sauntering with the acknowledgment of my plans to make life changes. I am declaring changes to ensure that my FORTIETH year is indeed fabulous! 

I am far from fabulous at the present moment. I believe I am currently my heaviest (if not I was only a few pounds heavier after I had Billy). It’s gotten ridiculous. A couple of summers ago, I lost over 20 pounds and swore I would never gain it back. Well, I did and then some. I have ZERO energy and my knees and back have aged well beyond 40. My blood pressure isn't great. I've been on medicine since before Bo was born.  I’ve got to take back my health!! I have decided willpower is not my thing, and I  need divine guidance to give me the strength I will need physically and mentally to accomplish the tasks needed to lose weight and get healthy. Now, I will tell you right now I have no desire to be a health nut and I refuse to give up all sweets for forever. Birthday icing was created to be enjoyed and I intend to enjoy it (in moderation, of course).

I have toyed with the idea of fasting before for religious reasons. Then I thought how fasting could help me lose weight, but then I thought that’s not right if I am fasting to lose weight and not grow closer to God then the fasting would be superficial. I never did it, but then I had lucid moments of understanding about fasting. You fast to seek God. You fast to find answers from God. You fast to surrender something to God. You fast to make a commitment to God. What better way to find power over food and depression than to give it to God through fasting. I eat to eat. I eat when I am watching television. I eat when someone else wants to eat. I eat to have something to do. I like food.  If I know that the only way to have power over this addiction in my life is to give it to God through fasting, I don’t think that’s superficial at all. I have found an app that has intermittent fasting schedules. So, here we go…I’m going try it. I will let you all know how it works to help me break the chains of wanting food so often.

Food is only one step in this year-long refinement process. I was born August 17, 1978, and will be 40 years old in 16 short days. I am gonna use those numbers as guides for my #FabulousAtForty journey. My goal, that I may or may not meet but will shoot for, is 78 pounds. I will be okay with losing a more realistic 40 pounds as well by my 41^st birthday. I started yesterday with 40 squats. I will begin and end my day with 40 squats. I will probably add to that with planks or curl-ups or such. I will let you know what I find that works. I have been pondering the best goal for miles to walk in a year and I think I have decided 780 miles. I believe it is a doable goal. I initially wanted to walk 1,978 miles, but I don’t want to set myself up for failure. So, I have decided to use that number for mental exercise.

                I still have a stirring in my soul that tells me I should be writing, but I do not make the time and when I do I sit in front of a screen and write nothing. Well, I will etch out 1,978 seconds a day to write. I will write something if only a sentence or two. However, I am making a goal to post 40 blogs this year and FINISH that story/novel I started several years ago. I read something that said it’s not fair to your characters not to finish their story and you know, I agree. So, Benjamin Mumford and Amanda Shepherd I will tell your story…

                There was no need for me to write this or post this except that I need those of you who do read these blogs to encourage me and more importantly HOLD ME ACCOUNTABLE. Ask about my weight. Ask about my exercise regimen. Ask about my blogs. Ask about my story. Life is meant to be shared. My husband totally doesn’t understand the social media world, and I tend to agree with him in that not everything NEEDS to be shared. Too often social media becomes a sounding board or a showplace or a self-seeking abyss. I do not want my blogs or posts to ever be a blast of showboating or mindless rants, but a place of offering praise and contemplative discussions. For what it is worth, I believe God gave me perspective and voice to share with others. You often never know the impact your words and actions have on those around you and those afar. I am trusting that God provides me with the right words to help or heal or inspire or entertain the audience members who find me. So, here’s to Post 1 of 40… #FabulousAtForty #FantasticForties #prayforme