People

People. People truly can’t comprehend the power they hold over other people. Without mere thought, individuals meet a need or create a void. Have you thought about those people in your life? The ones who meet your desire to belong or feel loved giving you the comfort of knowing your psychological need is being met. What about those individuals who give you the opposite of this feeling? Those individuals who make you feel like an outcast and create a chasm in your psyche. Those individuals who once spoke to you with a genuine smile now look pained to even say good morning.

I think it is safe to say most of us have both types of people in our lives. It may very well be we have more of one than we do of the other which could possibly indicate the level of our mental state. I will admit my mental state takes a major plummet when I am feeling lonely and left out. I question so much about my journey during those times. If I am being 100% transparent, I have been struggling with this very thing for the past several years. I have shed many a tear over changed relationships. I have cried myself to sleep feeling not good enough to be part of this group or that group. Uncertain of why I am not good enough?

Please do not mistake this blog post for pity or even moral support. I don’t need either. I only need a platform to speak openly about my God moments. As I have said in the past, God is calling me to write. When I have the least resistance while writing, it is when I am writing from personal experiences or writing about areas I am passionate. Tonight, these are the words and ideas that made their way onto the screen.

Because no matter how many times I have been let down or hurt or used by people, I have always felt loved by God. There are days that I didn’t want to feel that love because it would make it easier to cope with my loneliness. However, God doesn’t leave. He right there no matter how far we try to run. I haven’t necessarily run from Him. I am in church most Sundays. I read my devotionals every morning. But I haven’t allowed my heart to be completely open to His ways because I wanted to be mad. I wanted to look the other way. I wanted to avoid people. But you know what? That is not the kind of person God wants me to be. He wants SO much more FOR my life and for the lives of the people around me.

So, I am trying. Each morning at work I stand in the rotunda and try my very best to speak to the people, young and old, who pass by me. I get the best hugs from the little ones too. You see when God wants to use your pain to mold you, He does so. Because in the realization that people hurt, I would guess there have been moments I have hurt others. I may have said or done things which caused tears to shed or words to spew, and for that, I am so sorry. I apologize even more for not realizing my hurtfulness because I understand how lonely it is to be hurt without others knowing.

I am using this time to work on overcoming my need for inclusion and the approval of others. I am seeking to find relationships that God provides me because He will. I know it! When I moved home to teach in the local high school, God gave me several of the best teenagers in the whole world. Those young people gave me purpose and made me feel loved. I am certain God provide me with exactly who I need at exactly the right time for His will because he has in the past.

I leave this with you tonight…1. Don’t allow people to steal your joy. 2. Find scripture that speaks life into you and read them daily 2. Look for those people who need you and speak life into them. You will have to look closely because I can promise you, they are hiding behind smiles and laughter. 3. Practice giving notes or pictures or hugs or flowers or candy or whatever speaks of love to those people who God has given you…even if they are from your past. 4. Don’t put off something you can do today because tomorrow is not promised. 5. Pray!