45 and counting...

Birthdays much like the new year offer a time to reflect on your personal life. Forty-five seems like a significant number to truly reflect. So, I've been spending some time doing that. I mean most likely, I've crossed the halfway point of my life. I feel like I need to make some priority changes and revive some lost ideas and beliefs.

At 40, I remember having so many plans and goals that I wanted to crush, particularly in that 40th year. Heck, I started writing a whole novel, and it was actually pretty good. However, I abandoned all my goals because somewhere along the way life became too hard for me. I doubted all my gifts and talents. The world became ugly and hateful. I found myself retreating from people and institutions that I once clung. The flame of my desires withdrew into darkness, and the darkness seemed to take up more and more space in my mind. 

The last few years I've struggled to maintain even a semblance of myself, but this past year life almost broke me and when I thought I was putting myself back together, I crashed. Life literally picked me overhead its head and slammed me onto the ground. I shattered into a million pieces. Pieces I don't think I can ever put back together the same way. I've changed too significantly. I haven't decided if it is for the better because I'm still attempting to form the shards back together. I'm hurt and bitter and confused.

At Forty-five, I thought life would be on cruise or at least on a downhill slope, but nope. NO. WHERE. CLOSE. When I'm not pedaling up the steepest hill, I feel like I'm rowing backward all alone in a raft in the middle of an endless sea. It's honestly been horrible. I'm a broken version of myself, and it is painful to live out because I'm unsure if I can return to the strong and faithful person I was for so long, and I desperately want to be her.

I envy people who say you can just choose happiness or joy. They intentionally choose that for their life. I promise you I want that. I want to make that choice. I want to make a proclamation over my life, but my brain makes that choice so much more difficult than just "choose joy." My brain is ruled by depression.

Depression grips the scale and tilts it in the direction of darkness and despair. Depression surrounds you with loneliness and uncertainty. Depression strips away motivation and confidence. Depression assures you joy isn't a feasible choice. So, as much as I want to choose joy, I have to wage a war against myself daily in order to make that choice. The battle is endless. 

Now, I'm not writing this as a woe to me plea for all of your pity. I. Do. Not. Want. Pity. I'm writing this as a declaration to myself. In order to seek out the goals I once made and in order to rebuild myself in a way that I'm recognizable, I must be transparent about my place in the world and the battles I face. One of my goals years ago was to blog frequently. What better way to be true to my 40 year old self than to blog to start off my 45th year? Here's to rebuilding myself and my faith while crushing my goals and finding a peace that dissolves my bitterness.

Open Heart. Open Mind. Open Hands.

Depressed. Frustrated. Overwhelmed. Sad. Lonely. Unsure. Anxious. Fearful. Uncertain. Unfocused. Unmotivated. And just plain tired. These few simple words describe my mental health and well being over the last several months. I have struggled in every aspect of my life, even my faith. If you know me at all, you know my faith is strong and my commitment to living out my purpose IS my reason for everything. However, since Covid-19 changed the face of education, I have floundered in understanding my purpose. I have questioned and debated why I am even in the teaching profession. But today! I was made aware of an issue that sparked something inside of me again. Nothing’s motivated me enough to actually put words onto paper in months. But today! I desire to share my heart with you all. I share because so many people in this free world are quick to spew hate because of differences. People are fast to judge and talk about you because you don’t fit into the tiny box they deem acceptable. People accept grace but refuse to give it. That is NOT the way America was intended. It is definitely not the way JESUS taught.

So, what brought about this need to put my heart onto paper today? Simple, the ramblings and rants of teenagers who don’t like me as a person nor as a teacher (I guess). Now, I admit that my heart hurts when I realize students don’t like me. I’ve never declared that I became a teacher for the sake of education. Never, because the most important aspect of teaching to me is and has always been the relationships I am able to establish with my students and the love I can offer them. A love ordained by God to offer as a sacrifice of worship. A love that grows to encompass the abused, the hurt, the broken, the confused, the weak, the volatile, the outcast. You see God’s love does not discriminate, even though many Christians do. Well, I don’t want to be like the many; I want to be like Christ.

I try to be an authentic person. I admit I am not the perfect Christian. I struggle with judging others and my heart aches when I do because I do NOT want to judge. I get frustrated. Mad. Downright pissed off at times with people and can vent with the best of them, but my heart aches because I know God called me to be better than that. Doesn’t mean I don’t do it. It means I know better. God and I have lengthy conversations about my heart and healing it. When I write it’s not to preach a sermon to others but to learn a lesson myself. I do NOT believe myself or my thoughts better than someone else’s. So, today!

Today, my heart needed to heal from hearing, “Man, (insert name of student) and them really don’t like you, Miss.” My heart initially broke from those words. However, it healed quickly when I found out one of the reasons this group didn’t like me was because they deemed I was too open-minded. Wow! We are at a point in education and in America where if we don’t agree, you don’t like me. I never want to change a kid’s belief system. I honestly don’t. I don’t actually care if our opinions differ. I do want them to understand and know why they believe what they believe. Really know, and the answer can’t be because that’s what I’ve always believed or that’s what my parents believe. That’s fine if you believe the same as they do, but WHY do you believe it?

Another important aspect of a belief system that I want my students to always be aware of is the other. I want them to understand life from the perspective of others. The current political state of America is divided at best, and the division started because one side refused to listen to the other side. One side declared their side is right, no ifs ands or buts. There lies the problem...polarization. Polarization eliminates the opportunity for dialogue. You are different. You are the problem. I hate you. 

People, that is not the way of America. That is not the way of Jesus. He sat at the table WITH sinners. 

So, to the students who think I am too open-minded or liberal or whatever you want to call it, I am sorry that you feel that way. I am sorry you will miss out on the most loyal friend you could find. I am glad you will never need a person in your life who can see you, REALLY see you. Not your status. Not your parents. Not your athletic ability. Instead, a person who sees your struggles, your triumphs, your pains, your joys, and stands by you through them all. A person you can share your deepest insecurities to in complete confidence. A person who understands your grieving heart and offers you solace. A person who will listen as you admit you have contemplated suicide and offers you hope. A person who pushes you further and doesn’t let you give up. Then again, students, you may not need a person like that in your life, but I can promise that you have a classmate who does, and I promised God long ago I would be that person for that student. 

I will continue to question your beliefs, not because I want you to change them. I have never wanted that. Instead, I will question them because I want you to SEE others. I want you to experience life from a different lens. I want you to grow as human beings. Will your belief system change as you experience life? I am not sure; I would say that depends on the experiences you allow yourself to have. I can say my beliefs sure have changed throughout my 42 years on this earth. Life has a way of growing us in spite of ourselves.

I will leave you with this...Be careful who you hate; it may be someone you love.

Now, to those students who love me and appreciate my efforts, you are my reason!! You are why God placed me in the classroom! You make my world complete and have given me the most joy! Thank you for allowing me to be part of you!! I’ll love you forever!!!     

Changes are Here

I’m not necessarily a pros/cons list type of person. Though I am an overthinker and think through all the pros and cons from many different perspectives repeatedly and in my sleep, I don’t necessarily write out a list. Many years ago I happened into the life of a college professor. I adored it. I loved the freedom and autonomy of the college classroom. My colleagues were awesome, and there aren’t too many places I love better than a college campus. The atmosphere of a university has a liveliness to it like no other. There is a pulsing heartbeat to a college campus that radiates through you as you walk. I loved that as a student and just as much as a professor. My students were fantastic, and I had so many opportunities to witness growth in my students. Yes, I watched many overcome the fear of public speaking, but others I watched grow as human beings. So, why did I leave it? Stupidity...lol! No, I wanted to be on to my children’s school schedule.

When I moved back to public education, I just thought I would return to the path I started before being called to Georgia Southern as an instructor and that path was at an elementary school. Again, even that path I had not originally chosen. My undergraduate and graduate degrees are both in Communication Studies, but teaching was always in the back of my mind. When I left the life of Assistant Professor, I didn’t go back to the elementary regular education classroom. No, I ended up by divine appointment as a co-teacher at the local HIGH school. I did not even interview for that position when I got the job, but I believe that was where God wanted me. My belief was affirmed time and again, but after a little time and multiple changes in administrations that belief wavered a little bit. Unfortunately, I say my belief wavered, but in full disclosure, I believe it was my faith that wavered. I was no longer happy as a person, and I looked for ways to please myself. There was an opening to teach Art at the elementary school, and I lined myself up to make that move.

I have never really admitted this to anyone until today, but during that entire process, I questioned myself. Was I really doing God’s will for my life? Did God really want me to move to the elementary school to teach art? I justified everything I was doing with the level of my personal happiness. God wouldn’t want me to be unhappy, would He? Maybe that was true, or maybe God wanted me to question the move in such a big way because He needed me open to returning one day.

I’ll be the first to admit I LOVED watching my personal babies grown in elementary school. I got to bring them to school. I got to hug them in the halls. I got to watch their programs. I got to talk to their teachers daily. So, maybe God granted me that opportunity as a parent. He gave me a reprieve from my calling to let me grow my own children. My babies are no longer babies, and I decided it was time to listen and obey God instead of listening and postponing.

I believe the high school has had one or two openings in the English department every year since I left except maybe one. Were these openings God waving at me to gain my attention? Maybe. God might have been giving me an opportunity each year to return. I am not sure, but I do know each time I heard about an opening there was a small nudge in my gut even though I really didn’t want to make the move back. Some years I contemplated the move more than others based on my personal happiness. Finally, the pull became too great. A while ago I decided if I was going to be obedient to God’s call then I had to open my heart to the possibility of returning to the high school. I wasn’t sure if I would end up there or not, but I had to be responsive in my obedience. So, I allowed the administration to know if I was ever needed back I was not opposed to returning. In this declaration, I was not wishing to go back or even applying for any of the openings; I was just allowing myself to be obedient to God’s calling on my heart.

Last Friday during school, I received a call from a number I was not familiar. I got the call in the midst of working a popcorn tent during Farm Day, and I didn’t answer. When I got a second, I listen to the message. It was from the high school principal simply saying he needed to talk with me. He said no one is hurt and nothing was wrong. He just wanted to talk. I have a high school student. Therefore, I listened again to make sure this message wasn’t about Billy, and after listening to the message again, I had a feeling it was about me, not Billy. My feeling proved to be true. We met. We talked. He offered me a position teaching 10th Grade English.

I knew immediately who was in control, but I didn’t immediately say yes. I was scared. I still am, but I prayed. I prayed some more. I talked it over with a few of my closest persons and others who could give me a little insight. I prayed some more. I asked others to pray for me. However, the whole time, though scared and uncertain, I knew what obedience would look like, and it would require me to trade in my whistle for essays and novels.

Let me say this...I LOVED the opportunity to teach art, and the last two years in the gym with my work husband, Coach Boyd, have been AMAZING. I couldn’t ask for a better person to be my sidekick. We have laughed, ate, cried, yelled, fought, made up, sang, danced, ate some more and laughed even harder. I will always love him. I will love him for helping me overcome some dark days and being my confidant. I will not love him for these extra pounds because of all the snacks he brought me. He didn’t like to eat alone. Ha!

The kids at TCES have brightened all of my days, and I will surely miss their hugs and hearing Coach Girl echoing down the hall or when they see me in town and ask, “Where is Coach BOYd?” I guess for them it’s not really goodbye but simply see you in a few years. I love all of you little knuckleheads more than you'll ever know!!

My co-workers... Even on my dark days, I tried so very hard to offer each of you a smile and cheerful hello or words of encouragement or a safe space to vent. I will miss you all! Please know I didn’t enter into this decision to depart in haste, but I had to be true to God’s direction for my heart. Please know you will be in prayers! Continue to push through your hard days, your unhappy days, your days where you feel you don’t matter or no one is listening...YOU ARE MAKING A DIFFERENCE!!! YOU ARE LOVED!! YOU ARE APPRECIATED!!

And I ask each of you to watch after my baby boy for his last year at the elementary school. I am in tears writing that because he was the most difficult aspect of this decision. He’s my baby, and I have been with him for his entire time at TCES. Though he has the absolute best personality and the sweetest heart, he struggles academically with processing. He hasn’t been formally diagnosed with dyslexia, but his symptoms definitely suggest it as a possibility. So, whoever ends up as his teacher I need for you to love him beyond measure. I need for you to exercise every ounce of patience with his struggles and forgetfulness. I need for you to keep me informed. I need for you to know I love you so much for being there for him.

Though this post was simply a way to give an account of this coming change, I will one day offer more significant details of God’s calling and His speaking over this decision. He is phenomenal in the details of our lives if we are willing to look. So, here’s to new beginnings in familiar places!

Finding Greatness

I suppose the saying “you are your own worst critic” may be one of the most accurate descriptions to define who I am. My critiques aren’t necessarily detrimental because I feel I do many things pretty good and some very good, but I don’t feel like I am great at anything. And I want to be great. Not in a pompous, arrogant way. Not in a look-at-ho- awesome-I-am way. No, I want to be great in a way that says look at God. Look how He has gifted me. Look at the path He has placed me. Look at how His purpose is fulfilled in my life. Just look at God with an awestruck glare at His greatness.

I want my words to be powerful and meaningful. I want my interactions with others to be loving and significant. I want my actions to be bold and intentional. I want my life to make a continual difference for the kingdom.

However, I fail daily because I hurt deeply. With a transparent heart, I admit that life can be hard at times. As much as I want to swallow up hurts, negative thoughts, bitterness and anger, some days I just can’t. I can’t fully allow myself to run in the direction of greatness because I’m shackled with paralyzing tiredness.

I’m tired of fake smiles. I’m tired of heartaches. I’m tired of division. I’m tired of exclusion. I’m tired of selfishness. I’m tired of greed. I’m tired of judgmental attitudes. I’m tired of superiority. I’m tired of conniving. I’m tired of the blame game. I’m tired of petty bullshit. I’m just tired. I’m tired of the world around me darkening the light in my heart and turning me into someone I don’t necessarily like.

Truthfully, I struggle frequently with depression (I haven’t been clinically diagnosed, but I am intelligent enough to know the signs).  I believe my depression is directly related to my desire to live with GREAT purpose but failing. All that tiredness has left me empty, and I’m turning into a culmination of the tired. That is NOT who I want to be, at all! That is NOT who I am meant to be, ever. 

So, I offer this plea to each person who took the time to read this…there is at least one person in your life who needs you. They are struggling, but you wouldn’t necessarily know by looking on the surface. They need you to look deeper. You need to experience their heart. They are trying to keep everything together, and they are succeeding in appearance only, but their heart is hurting. They need you. They need your GENUINE friendship. The need your kind words. They need that hug. They need your prayers. 

And for those of you who are reading this and are looking for your GREAT purpose…keep struggling to find it because it is in that struggle God will prepare you for exactly what He has planned. I know how hard it is to always see beyond the brokenness around you, but I promise you when you have even a moment of clarity, your spirit is moved by glimpses of the GREATNESS that is to come. I can say that with a smile on my heart because as I typed this last paragraph God gave me a glimpse. 

You are loved…marvel in your struggles. Give God all of your tiredness. 

You are GREAT!!

²⁸ “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. ²⁹ Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰ For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”      Matthew 11:28-30 

People

People. People truly can’t comprehend the power they hold over other people. Without mere thought, individuals meet a need or create a void. Have you thought about those people in your life? The ones who meet your desire to belong or feel loved giving you the comfort of knowing your psychological need is being met. What about those individuals who give you the opposite of this feeling? Those individuals who make you feel like an outcast and create a chasm in your psyche. Those individuals who once spoke to you with a genuine smile now look pained to even say good morning.

I think it is safe to say most of us have both types of people in our lives. It may very well be we have more of one than we do of the other which could possibly indicate the level of our mental state. I will admit my mental state takes a major plummet when I am feeling lonely and left out. I question so much about my journey during those times. If I am being 100% transparent, I have been struggling with this very thing for the past several years. I have shed many a tear over changed relationships. I have cried myself to sleep feeling not good enough to be part of this group or that group. Uncertain of why I am not good enough?

Please do not mistake this blog post for pity or even moral support. I don’t need either. I only need a platform to speak openly about my God moments. As I have said in the past, God is calling me to write. When I have the least resistance while writing, it is when I am writing from personal experiences or writing about areas I am passionate. Tonight, these are the words and ideas that made their way onto the screen.

Because no matter how many times I have been let down or hurt or used by people, I have always felt loved by God. There are days that I didn’t want to feel that love because it would make it easier to cope with my loneliness. However, God doesn’t leave. He right there no matter how far we try to run. I haven’t necessarily run from Him. I am in church most Sundays. I read my devotionals every morning. But I haven’t allowed my heart to be completely open to His ways because I wanted to be mad. I wanted to look the other way. I wanted to avoid people. But you know what? That is not the kind of person God wants me to be. He wants SO much more FOR my life and for the lives of the people around me.

So, I am trying. Each morning at work I stand in the rotunda and try my very best to speak to the people, young and old, who pass by me. I get the best hugs from the little ones too. You see when God wants to use your pain to mold you, He does so. Because in the realization that people hurt, I would guess there have been moments I have hurt others. I may have said or done things which caused tears to shed or words to spew, and for that, I am so sorry. I apologize even more for not realizing my hurtfulness because I understand how lonely it is to be hurt without others knowing.

I am using this time to work on overcoming my need for inclusion and the approval of others. I am seeking to find relationships that God provides me because He will. I know it! When I moved home to teach in the local high school, God gave me several of the best teenagers in the whole world. Those young people gave me purpose and made me feel loved. I am certain God provide me with exactly who I need at exactly the right time for His will because he has in the past.

I leave this with you tonight…1. Don’t allow people to steal your joy. 2. Find scripture that speaks life into you and read them daily 2. Look for those people who need you and speak life into them. You will have to look closely because I can promise you, they are hiding behind smiles and laughter. 3. Practice giving notes or pictures or hugs or flowers or candy or whatever speaks of love to those people who God has given you…even if they are from your past. 4. Don’t put off something you can do today because tomorrow is not promised. 5. Pray!

Coach, I'm Praying for You!

COACH /kohch/ - noun. a passionate, dedicated individual who unlocks hidden potential and maximizes a team’s performance by believing, encouraging and developing. [See also: ‘teacher’]

With the starting back of school, many of us find our lives immersed in school sports and extracurriculars. I challenge each of you who have a child involved in such activities to chisel out a time in your day to pray for those individuals who are pouring into your children. So often as parents we are consumed with OUR children…their performance, their playing time, their positions, their success, and their failures on the field or court, and we lose sight of the life lessons taught and learned out there.

In the past, Will and I have questioned coaching calls (Will tends to be a little more animated and verbal with his questioning than I am). However, I have had moments where I totally disagreed or was frustrated with a coach. I too wanted to be a little more animated until I realized the amount of time Billy collectively spent in the hands of these individuals and how those individuals would influence him in ways I never could. Through that realization, I decided I had an obligation to my son and that was to pray for those individuals who had the power to build him up or tear him down (and I’ve seen both of those things occur).

Let’s be honest, not all individuals coach equally. Not all coaches understand the fundamentals of the relationship and how relationships reveal the blueprints to our children’s hearts and some may not care. But as a coach, if you can find the key to a kid’s heart, you can grow a relationship that will maximize athletic performance and effort as well as build the internal character of that child. Not all coaches look for those relationships which leads me to believe it is my duty as a Christian parent to pray specifically for those relationships.

All coaches are sons/daughters, husbands/wives, and fathers/mothers first. They deserve to have someone pray over their lives and all their personal relationships as well as the relationships they will develop with our children. Coaches give many countless hours of their time to our children with very little compensation. I pray that not only will their influence positively impact our children, but the relationships with our children will allow the coaches opportunities to find beauty and inspiration.

These days I need assistance to remember the smallest tasks even when they are of the utmost importance. What I have done to ensure I don’t miss a day praying for the men and women in my children’s life is to set an alarm on my phone. I currently have one set at 11:18 a.m. titled “Pray 4 Billy’s Coach.” Ben is moving up to the middle school and will have his own set of coaches. I will set a separate alarm for him. This summer Bo saw the alarm for Billy’s coaches going off and he was curious as to why I set that alarm. I explained the concept to him, and he promptly told me he didn’t have a coach but did have a drama teacher who I should pray for because she was kinda like a coach to him. He is exactly right. So, I will set one for Mrs. Renae too. We should diligently pray for ALL people who repeatedly give up their time and energy to invest in the lives of our children.

I challenge you to pray for relationships. Pray for the relationships of the coaches and players. Pray for the relationships between teammates as well as the team dynamic. Pray for the coach’s relationship with God. Pray God will reveal Himself to the coach and provide him/her with direction to lead the team with noble character. Pray for the coach’s family. Pray for their time as a family. Pray that time will be protected and will be a renewal for the coach. Pray for the coach’s health (coaching is tiring and takes a toll mentally, physically and emotionally on a person). Just pray. Some days my prayers may be quick and general. Other days my prayers are lengthy and specific. But my prayers are diligent because I am certain that the men who Billy call coach can provide him confidence, teach him work ethic, give him vision and hold him accountable as a player, a student, and a person.

Thank you to all the men and women who have invested in the lives of my children and will continue to do so. Thank you to all the men and women who invested in my life. You taught me and gave me so many moments I cherish to this day. Here’s to all the men and women who find their passion as a COACH or extracurricular leader! You are appreciated!!

I urge you, first of all, to pray for all people. Ask God to help them; intercede on their behalf, and give thanks for them. 1 Timothy 2:1

Forty will be Fabulous!!

As my summer break ends and August begins, I have reflected on the past couple of months. This reflection uncovered a whirlwind of exhaustion. I honestly believe I was more rested on the last day of the school year than I am after being off for two months, and this exhaustion is not the result of any personal accomplishments, mind you. I am so upset that I completed NOTHING this summer, but I am more upset to recognize that I have not been living my best life. For several years I have been coasting along, struggling with depression, avoiding surrendering my vices and postponing committing to my callings. During the past couple of weeks, I became overly aware of how important it is that I do surrender and commit. However, I am still sauntering with the acknowledgment of my plans to make life changes. I am declaring changes to ensure that my FORTIETH year is indeed fabulous! 

I am far from fabulous at the present moment. I believe I am currently my heaviest (if not I was only a few pounds heavier after I had Billy). It’s gotten ridiculous. A couple of summers ago, I lost over 20 pounds and swore I would never gain it back. Well, I did and then some. I have ZERO energy and my knees and back have aged well beyond 40. My blood pressure isn't great. I've been on medicine since before Bo was born.  I’ve got to take back my health!! I have decided willpower is not my thing, and I  need divine guidance to give me the strength I will need physically and mentally to accomplish the tasks needed to lose weight and get healthy. Now, I will tell you right now I have no desire to be a health nut and I refuse to give up all sweets for forever. Birthday icing was created to be enjoyed and I intend to enjoy it (in moderation, of course).

I have toyed with the idea of fasting before for religious reasons. Then I thought how fasting could help me lose weight, but then I thought that’s not right if I am fasting to lose weight and not grow closer to God then the fasting would be superficial. I never did it, but then I had lucid moments of understanding about fasting. You fast to seek God. You fast to find answers from God. You fast to surrender something to God. You fast to make a commitment to God. What better way to find power over food and depression than to give it to God through fasting. I eat to eat. I eat when I am watching television. I eat when someone else wants to eat. I eat to have something to do. I like food.  If I know that the only way to have power over this addiction in my life is to give it to God through fasting, I don’t think that’s superficial at all. I have found an app that has intermittent fasting schedules. So, here we go…I’m going try it. I will let you all know how it works to help me break the chains of wanting food so often.

Food is only one step in this year-long refinement process. I was born August 17, 1978, and will be 40 years old in 16 short days. I am gonna use those numbers as guides for my #FabulousAtForty journey. My goal, that I may or may not meet but will shoot for, is 78 pounds. I will be okay with losing a more realistic 40 pounds as well by my 41^st birthday. I started yesterday with 40 squats. I will begin and end my day with 40 squats. I will probably add to that with planks or curl-ups or such. I will let you know what I find that works. I have been pondering the best goal for miles to walk in a year and I think I have decided 780 miles. I believe it is a doable goal. I initially wanted to walk 1,978 miles, but I don’t want to set myself up for failure. So, I have decided to use that number for mental exercise.

                I still have a stirring in my soul that tells me I should be writing, but I do not make the time and when I do I sit in front of a screen and write nothing. Well, I will etch out 1,978 seconds a day to write. I will write something if only a sentence or two. However, I am making a goal to post 40 blogs this year and FINISH that story/novel I started several years ago. I read something that said it’s not fair to your characters not to finish their story and you know, I agree. So, Benjamin Mumford and Amanda Shepherd I will tell your story…

                There was no need for me to write this or post this except that I need those of you who do read these blogs to encourage me and more importantly HOLD ME ACCOUNTABLE. Ask about my weight. Ask about my exercise regimen. Ask about my blogs. Ask about my story. Life is meant to be shared. My husband totally doesn’t understand the social media world, and I tend to agree with him in that not everything NEEDS to be shared. Too often social media becomes a sounding board or a showplace or a self-seeking abyss. I do not want my blogs or posts to ever be a blast of showboating or mindless rants, but a place of offering praise and contemplative discussions. For what it is worth, I believe God gave me perspective and voice to share with others. You often never know the impact your words and actions have on those around you and those afar. I am trusting that God provides me with the right words to help or heal or inspire or entertain the audience members who find me. So, here’s to Post 1 of 40… #FabulousAtForty #FantasticForties #prayforme