The heavens triumphantly opened up Saturday morning to welcome one of the most precious souls I have ever met. Almost thirty years ago, I was introduced to Will’s grandma. This was a woman who owned every ounce of Will Rogers’ heart. HE. LOVED. HER. and SHE. LOVED. HIM. She was affectionately called Mama Crick by all her grands, and for the past thirty years, she has been my Mama Crick, too.
Death is never easy. It could be a quick and unexpected exit or a long fade with years of preparation. It doesn’t matter which way someone is taken because IT. IS. HARD. Those long fades can sometimes take people away who are still with us, and that hard is a different kind of hard. No matter if it is dementia or just the aging process, the loss of knowledge or memories or understanding isn’t necessarily painful for the one living it but for the ones living beside it, it hurts.
As Mama Crick began to experience more extensive pulls of the aging process, my boys all were affected differently. Bo, oozing with compassion and a natural born nurturer, began being a nursemaid to Papa and Mama Crick. Poor Ben felt abandoned because during the quarantines and the pandemic scare, we avoided contact because of their age and health. Once we felt it safe and went back to visit, Mama Crick didn’t recognize Ben. She asked him who he was. In her defense, Ben grew a lot during that time and looked very different. Billy, the first great-grand, was hurt to see the degree of change that age created. As the process really began to take a toll and Mama Crick ended up in the nursing home, Billy and I had a conversation about visiting her. His response was this: ”I am not being ugly, but I just don’t want to see her like that. I want to remember Mama Crick as Mama Crick. I don’t want to see her weak and feeble and not sure who we are. I don’t want that to be my last memories of her. I want to keep all of my good memories of her.”
Oh, I understood Billy on such a deep level. So, today, I decided to remember all the Mama Crick moments that gave me an extra grandma for so many years….
Hot Chicken Salad. If you know, you know. I was no stranger to good home-cooked meals. My people could cook, but the quantity of food placed on Mama Crick’s kitchen table on any given Sunday blew my mind. At my or my grandma’s house, we had ONE meat and 2-4 vegetables per meal with bread and possible dessert. At Thanksgiving or Christmas, we may have two meats, but Mama Crick would NEVER have just one meat. Ever. No matter what meats were available it seemed like there would always be fried chicken. You can be guaranteed that if she knew you were coming and she knew you had a favorite item, that item would be on the table as well. I LOVED her hot chicken salad. So. Flippin. Good. Everything she made was good. Heck, even though I stirred the cheddar cheese into her elbow noodles NUMEROUS times, I still, according to my children, can't make mac and cheese as good as Mama Crick. Will says it’s because I don’t put in enough love; Mama Crick’s special ingredient was always love he says.
Blackberry Jelly. You will never find a jelly better than Mama Crick’s blackberry jelly. I guess because it was made with LOVE. And we LOVED every jar she gave us.
Double Dates. Early on, mine and Will’s dating consisted of tagging along with his grandparents to eat followed by a visit to Bud’s or Walmart. I remember buying a pair of shoes at Bud’s and Mama Crick saying that I really must love shoes if I am buying shoes from Bud’s. Honestly, I am not sure I had eaten at Captain D’s before dating Will, but it was a fan favorite with the grandparents.
Comfort Level. Our roles in each other’s lives changed over the years because our love, respect, and dedication to each other only grew through the years. From the first trip to “the country” with Will, I always felt welcomed. Mama Crick made me feel like family each time I was near her. After I produced her first great-grandchild, I was more than family, and she would do anything in the world for any of us. I can remember her wanting to cook for us after Billy was born. We piled up on many occasions and headed to her house on a weekday night for some spaghetti and fried okra. I never before had that combination before, but let me let y’all in on a little secret, it’s good. As Billy got to an age to talk, he called it popcorn and loved it. That boy wouldn’t touch it with a 10-foot pole now. Want to know one of the reasons he’s so spoiled and picky…Christine Seay cooked him anything he wanted and that was all he had to eat. Lol!
The dinner table was not the only place we held a bond. After her heart surgery and stroke, her driving days came to an end. She hated to be a burden to anyone, but she always felt comfortable enough with me and knew that I would do anything in the world for her, so she called me to come get her from the beauty shop or take her there or help her get to the bank so she could “get a little cash” or run her to grocery for a special sale. I loved those short little trips around town, but I loved more that she was comfortable enough with me to let me help her. She would always say to Tina or Papa or even Gail, “Lana’s gonna come take me.” She would spend the ride from the country thanking me for “doing this”, but you know doing that was only a smidge of a thank you I could give her for everything she’d done for my family for so many years before.
Pool Visits. I told you all earlier that Will loved his Mama Crick, and his Mama Crick loved him. Everyone always joked that he was the favorite. So, when the favorite has kids, get ready for them to have all the spoils. Will’s parents moved to the country several years back, and when multiple grandchildren became a thing, they decided to put in a pool. Well, the Will Rogers’ crew didn’t have a pool or daily access to a pool, so we were over the top excited about getting to go swim at Nan and Pop’s pool any day we wanted over summer break. Now, when I tell you the second I would pull up Nan’s driveway that Christine Seay would be out her side door and on her way up the lane to Nan’s with treats in hand, I am not exaggerating, even a little bit. I honestly believe she sat by the window daily waiting for us to pull up. She loved watching those boys swim. I will never forget the grocery bags filled with WHATEVER she could find that they would eat. Ritz crackers and cheese. (Like she’d bring a knife with a block of cheese to the pool.) Popsicles. (If you know Bo and his affection for pop ice, just know she instilled it). Dr. Peppers. So many Dr. Peppers. Chips .Ice Cream Sandwiches. Leftovers. It didn't matter; if she thought they’d eat it, she brought it. Now if we somehow “slipped in” without her seeing us, once she did see us and made her way up there, she would be mad at me. “Why didn’t you call me and let me know y’all were up here?” she’d snap at me. I can’t even estimate the number of hours she sat at that pool watching us splash around, and she never got in. She wasn’t a swimmer and didn’t care one bit about getting in a pool, but she adored watching my boys enjoy their summer days and yearned for us to come every day.
Babysitter Extraordinaire. It didn’t matter if I needed her for 20 minutes, 2 hours or everyday for 2 years. She was ALWAYS willing to help me and did. I would bring the boys to her or she would come to me. Whatever I needed, whenever I needed, she was there. And my babies loved her. My babies still love her. All my boys will always cherish their Mama Crick. She set the bar pretty high for what a grandmother should be. They always knew she loved them because she showed them with her presence, her gifts (never forgot a birthday or holiday), her food, her touch, and her words. When kids get older, they begin to recognize and see the world differently. I pray as my children continue to grow that they will always use Mama Crick’s selfless love and affection as a guide to mature into the best version of themselves. She always loved to stand back to back with my boys to see how close they were to outgrowing her, which they all did a good while ago. Now it’s their turn to measure their hearts and their capacity to love next to their Mama Crick’s. I pray that one day their love for their family will be even half of that of hers.
As memories will continue to flood our thoughts over these next few days, it is not a single memory that will stand out for me. Instead, it is the impact that her life had on mine. She welcomed me when I was just a kid and loved me dearly for all the years that followed. When asked about another girl once, she said, “Well, she ain’t no Lana!” She may have not been me, but I can say this with certainty now, “There ain’t never gonna be another Mama Crick!” She loved fiercely, and for a time, we will be lost without her love here on this earth, but the great thing about a grandma’s love is that it is part of who we are. Each of us will carry her with us in some special way for the rest of our lives and into our own grandparent era.
Rest easy, MC. Come Wednesday, all the boys will all be able to drive. You almost made it to let that baby boy drive you around. You helped me raise these boys, and I will forever be grateful. I love you so much, and I will miss you always. Give Papa Emory a little hell when you see him….
