Thirty Something...

So, this year I reached an age that is closer to 40 than 30. Wait. What? When in the hell did that happen? We hear all the time how quickly time passes, but it doesn’t quite resonate until, BAM! It has passed. We then realize just how quick it does pass. I suppose, because my daddy died when I was 15, I was more aware of the possibility of death.  However, the awareness was more focused on other people’s deaths…older people. Now I am the older people, and I am hyperaware of death of both young and old. Many young people die prematurely because of accidents or sickness, but you know older people die for the same reasons.  Time is time, and time cannot be bottled or held onto or stopped. Time was created to pass. We were created to pass, but before passing we were created to live a full life.  We don’t exactly know how much fullness we will be allowed to live. Therefore, we must make the most of the days we do have.

As I reflect on my thirty-six years, there are some opinions and advice I want to share with the young ones before their time passes by. Things I learned. Things I regret. Things I got right. Things I may have done differently.

1. Study abroad. If I had the opportunity to redo college, I would most definitely take advantage of the study abroad program. How often will most people have an opportunity to spend months in a foreign country? All financial obligations and living arrangements are taken care of just as if you were at college in the states…you just show up, have a place to stay, go to class, and explore. My biggest college regret is not studying abroad. I always said I was going to do it, but before I realized it, time passed and I was applying for graduation and hadn’t done it. So, plan and plan early if you are college bound!

2. Read. Read. Read. Write. And read some more. I hear myself so often in the voices of babes. I hate reading. It’s so boring. I’m such a slow reader. I would rather watch the movie. The list, of what I now classify as excuses, could go on and on, and I admit that I said most of them. AHHHHHH! It makes me want to scream now. Let me tell you why I believe you should start reading if you don’t already. Reading will develop your voice, and who doesn’t want to have a strong and valiant voice? Reading builds your vocabulary which in essence just makes you smarter. Reading cultivates your imagination. Reading strengthens your writing, and if you are remotely contemplating college, you will write and you will write some more. It may take you a book or two to find something that takes hold of you, but you will. Once you do, you will fall in love with books. Never in a million years would I have thought that I would EVER reread a book. What would be the point? Oh, the point is that words are so unbelievably powerful and will dwell in your soul, and you will want to feel them over and over again. I admit now I LOVE READING! I only wish I had started this passionate love story earlier in my life. I feel I have wasted so much time that I could have devoted to stories. Stories that seep into the very core of who you are and strengthen you as a person without even trying. Have I mentioned that I LOVE READING? So, after you finish this post, go read a book!!

3. Realize early what it means to be a true Christian. If you are part of the family of Christian believers, learn early that ALL people sin, and all people fall short, even YOU! For some reason, early in my faith I believed that because I didn’t drink alcohol, participate in illegal drugs, or have sex I was a “better” Christian than the individuals who did participate in such behavior. Bullshit! I can call it that now, but I didn’t see it then. Christianity is not about following a rigid set of rules or regulations, but it is about having a personal relationship with a living God. It is about communicating with that God and allowing Him to direct your path. Seek a relationship with God. Ask Him to abide in your heart. Listen to Him as he provides you directions and assurance.

4.  Let your passions define you. Find those things in your life that you are passionate about, and go all in. Living a passionate life is so unbelievably tiring, but it will bring a joy far greater than living a life void of emotion. I am not saying that a passionate life is easy because it is not. You will encounter the devil over and over trying to steal your joy. I believe there are people in the world that are intimidated by passionate people. Don’t let those people steal your passion. People who live passionately tend to also hurt with the same level of fervor. You will encounter individuals who will try to break you, and they will almost succeed because living passionately makes you vulnerable. However, at your most vulnerable your passion will give you an inner strength. You will be damned if ANYONE will destroy that passion. You will protect at all cost. It’ll be hard but worth it in the end…I promise!

5. LOVE. Love deeply. Love unconditionally. Love daily. Take note because I didn’t say lust. I didn’t say judge. I didn’t say pretend. Love is not a word that is to be reserved for some romantic fairy tale relationship. Love is an intentional way to live out every day. Some days it is easier to love. Some people are easier to love. None the less, LOVE! In college, my college minister once said, “Love is not a feeling. Love is an action.” How poignant? Pair that thought with the concept that God is love. We must then realize that our daily actions are representations of God’s love. Do your actions accurately depict the vastness and show the graciousness of God’s love?   The greatest commandments God gives us: 1. Love Him 2. Love Others!!! I may not be able to do much, but I am capable of loving because He first loved me.

I suppose I could write so many more things, and I may next year as I reflect on my 37^th birthday. Winkie Face! I pray that you will pursue a life that you are excited about living. Do things you want. Don’t wait because you may lose the opportunity. Surround yourself with people that share your passions or at least support how passionate you are about your devotions. Through it all, remember to laugh. Laugh at yourself. Laugh at others. Try to find the humor in all situations and appreciate that humor! If I am created in the likeness of God, I am certain He has one hell of a sense of humor. I mean, come on, how couldn’t He… 

You CAN'T always eat your cake!!

How did we come to live in a world where the people residing in it believe things are owed to them? No matter if you are black or white, Christian or atheist, rich or poor, have the “right” last name or not, you are NOT owed a DAMNED thing!

(Side note: I am a Christian. I use cuss/curse words. Often. I am a communication studies major and completely understand that words, in general, are social symbols that were socially constructed by man. Man made these words socially unacceptable or taboo, not God. Just saying. It is very likely that my lyrical prowess could include a curse word and scripture in the same paragraph. I’m that girl. I hope I don’t defend you, but if I do, I do. Judge me if you want.)

Back to other rant now. At some point people, specifically groups of people began to believe because they are part of this group or that group that they should be looked at or treated differently. Our society has become an “I want my piece of cake and eat it too.” I want to eat it right now, in front of you, AND I may even laugh in your face because you don’t have a piece.  

I've heard and seen so many things. We want more young people in church, but we don’t want a contemporary service. I want to lose about 40 pounds, but I don't want to exercise or eat right. I want my child to have this teacher, but I do not want that student in his class. The problem with this mentality is that people refuse to understand the elements of hard work and integrity. The truth is that you must play the hand you were dealt in life. If you want change, you don’t make it happen by bad mouthing someone.

Tonight, I am writing this post because ultimately I am pissed at how a good friend of mine was talked about today. She is an honorable, hard-working and super loving individual. Her character was attacked by someone because that person did not get what they wanted. A person who in the past has been granted many things he or she may not have deserved. I suppose I understand the game of playing favorites or using your position or your last name to get what you want, but I try my best not to do that. For instance this school year, my son was placed in a class without any of his close friends. The teacher, of the class that had all of his friends, wanted me to go to the principal and get my son moved into her class. I have a pretty good relationship with my principal, and he more than likely would have moved my son. However, I don’t want to be that kind of person.  I really do try and recognize that neither I nor any of my family members are superior, and we are in no way owed anything by anyone. I try to teach my children that if they want something they must work for it. I have also prepared them for the unfairness of small town politics. They are learning to accept where they are placed on the field and play that position (and play it to the best of their ability).

Philippians 2:14-15 says, “Do all things without grumbling or questioning, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world.” Yes, we live in a world that is not fair. People will try to lie, steal, cheat, bad-mouth and bitch to get exactly what they want, but what WE want is not we are called to want. Through many of those evil ways, people eventually get what they want or at least get revenge on the someone that hindered them getting what they wanted.

However, I prefer to turn from such evil slander and seek a much greater prize. There are times that I do become frustrated. There are days that I bad mouth (and later feel guilty for diminishing my character in the heat of the moment). There are days that I do not shine as bright as God would have me to shine.  My prayer tonight is for God to mold my heart and mind into vessels that acknowledge, accept, and conquer the evil of this world. My prayer is that God uses those crooked and twisted people to teach me how NOT to act. My prayer is for God to humble my heart, use my words, and for others to see Him more clearly because I reflect His light. 

P.S. I must say to my boo, I love you! You are awesome at what you do no matter what people say may say about you ;)